You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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