When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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