and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
