I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
