What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
