what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
