4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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