Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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