a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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