I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
