Can i not drive my cunt home
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize