I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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