HIV tests are more positive than that guy
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
