im gay
i know
yea but for you.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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