why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
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if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
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Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?