You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
