she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
