I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
