there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
