the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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