thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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