i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
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It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
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So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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