he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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