its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
