im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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