i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize