Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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