I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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