he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.