how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
