u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.