so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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