Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
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Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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