JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
