When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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