I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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