Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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