fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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