i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
