youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
