Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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