I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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