Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize