omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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