I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
