Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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