"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My dad is sitting where you rode me
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
