glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
