Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
we're making bets on your personal life
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My vagina is officially offended.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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