Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize